Sundays on the Phone with Mom

My experiences in 3 months of rehab in the Payson (AZ) Care Center taught me a lot about accepting things I can't change. Things like not being free from pain, being able to move my body freely, being able to move about the building, being in a place with no family or friends whatsoever, or being able to leave that prison. I learned to adapt. When I got placed on a commode without being sure my call lights were in reach, I did'nt howl 'help me' like some residents would, because I knew the nurses and aides had become hardened to it. So: (tune: Camptown Races)

"I can't reach my call lights here, scuba, poobah,
I can't reach my call lights here, oh scuba day.
One's stuck in the can, (In the bathroom which I could not yet move myself into)
One's stuck on the left,
The third one's stuck in the middle of my bed,
Somebody help me please!"

After three repetitions help came. "Susan, you're fun-nee" said the aide. The nurses would ask me for prayer if it looked like a hard day was coming up. The only grouch I had in the room was the night nurse with the 2am bedpan, and once physical therapy proved to her that I could get out of bed without falling her mood improved immensely.

I was shocked when my mom got caught in the 'automatic' door at the Whitehall Shell/A&W/Long John Silver's and it broke her pelvis. Didn't she carry enough weight to cushion the blow? or to have her bones built up to avoid osteoporosis? This was the beginning of the end of her independent living - at age 70. She's in a wheelchair, walking hurts her back.

"Mom, it just kills me that you have to be in a home," I'd tell her. "Your mind is still there." Since I was in California, my youngest sister did the actual placement, and I'm sure she feels worse for having had to be the one to do it.

I used to feel bad about calling her - until I'd walked a mile in her shoes in Payson. I lived for calls from my kids and was overjoyed when they got up the gas money to visit - Twice. Now I make a point about calling every Sunday, and if I miss, make an extra call. She says some weeks that I'm her only "visitor".

Since my middle sister in Oklahoma fell and got lumbar fractures, she has been in rehab in Oklahoma City since August. None of her immediate family can drive from Lawton, so she's up there alone. I swipe my daughter's cell phone and set up a 3-way call. Grace is harder to get to - bedridden - so she gets a cordless phone from the nurses' station. Then I call Mom, who usually gets a push to a phone in the hall. Mom asks about the weather, the usual how's the grandkids questions, and then sits back and listens to Grace and I go at it. Mom wishes the phone had 4-way so we could include sister Deb, niece Brandy, or even Great-great-aunt Capitola, who is 105, lives with a 65-year-old granddaughter, and has cheated the nursing home twice. "Nurses in homes are so busy, Aunt Tola, that you probably get better care from Carol."

Mom and Grace got extra calls on Wednesday about the fire. Take no chances having them fret about the national news.

Lord, You sure are teaching us patience with these (medical) high-maintenance bodies!!!